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High Beam Award

"What? People expect you to turn up at this time of night, for heaven's sake!"

24 Feb 2006

Now the same thing happened a while ago to me, but this time I was completely amazed at the source;

Tom and I decided that we would finish the day with a lead of Fascination (21) and it was Tom who put up his hand to go first... no problem there you say, and I would agree.

So, geared up Gump tied in and started up the route, making reasonably short work of it. At the top he called down asking me (Gimp) whether I wanted to second the route or lead it on his gear. I replied that I would prefer to lead it. With that Tom disappeared from view and I sat down to chat to Meg while I waited for my belay.

Some 15-20 minutes later Meg and I began to wonder what was taking Tom so long. A short investigation revealed that he had been down for some time and was sitting happily chatting to Lee!

So... did I end up getting that belay?

Nope, in fact the task fell to Lieutenant Dan with Tom announcing that he was going to go home.

Now how's THAT for a High Beam?


Inaugural Award

16 September 2004

Awwww shit! I had to go and do it didn't I? Displaying all the social skills of Dr Nick in a German Beer Hall, I went out into the car park and called out to Alex, interrupting the first kiss with new 'friend' Brett. Way to go Gimp, you sure know how to spoil a moment!

But if you look at my past history, this might be a good omen, I do have a track record with social blunders and potential new couples:

You Idiot Gimp! You get the inaugural High Beam Award!


2 October 2004 (1.00am)


It doesn't get more socially wrong than to have a guest sleep over, and then drop the biggest, smelliest fart since Tom cleared the Flinders Ranges of wildlife and then blame it on your guest!

And yet, this is precisely what Edna did on the night in question. The Fart was so bad that he woke himself up, and then tried to blame it on his still awake guest (The Gimp) by fanning it towards him with a pillow, then spraying deodorant around!

Very bad manners indeed! Precisely the type of actions that befit the bestowing of the High Beam Award.

Poor form Edna!

Aunty Edna, no doubt smiling about the odour about to waft up to the photographer


8 January 2005

Okay, so I might have to admit that it might have been me; maybe it's the fresh air, but while camping at Butler's on the first night I once again woke to the smell of a really bad fart... and this time I know it was me.

Kind of poor manners to blame it on your host, and so therefore, I take the High Beam Award for my little indiscretion back at Arapiles, and then for subsequently blaming my host.

Poor form Gimp

20 January 2005

Idiot Gimp!

Lesson 1: Never joke about things too much, they might actually come true.

After being kicked out of Tom and Megan's once Gump got sick of our company, (and perhaps a little errr, frisky), I joked that I would be back in a minute to pick up something that I would leave behind...

Wouldn't you know it? I left my keys behind.

After ringing the doorbell four times and calling out that I really had left my keys, Megan finally came to the door... from the shower.  

Oh man! Interrupting a co-ed shower?

Bloody High Beam! Dammit!

24 February 2005

Well, it has taken a while for someone to emerge with a level of social ineptitude rivalling that of the good Dr Nick (and he is good, just ask him), but it appears that we may have a genuine contender!

In an absolutely astounding demonstration of how not to speak about women, Dan made a comment that made Gump and I (Gimp) just shake our heads in disbelief. He actually said more, and worse than what is reported, but we were so stunned that we just could not recall anything that happened afterwards for a good two or three minutes (It's called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Marks' son Michael was not happy with the way in which the leg loops of his borrowed harness were fitting. Apparently they were too loose. By the time I got around to checking Michael was not wearing the harness. "What was wrong?" I enquired.

"It didn't fit, the legs were too loose," came the reply.

"Were they adjustable?"

"I don't think so..."

"That was Megan's harness, I thought it had adjustable leg loops," interjected Tom

<Okay hold on to your hats kids, and remember I am just the messenger, don't shoot me!>

At this point young Dan decided to add his two cents worth with: "Oh it's Megan's harness? That's obviously why the leg loops are so big."

<awkward silence - fear in Tom's eyes>

"errr, I don't think that's a wise thing to say" said Gimp. "Do you have a girlfriend?"


"Any females in your life?"


"Ever wondered why?"


Note: Dr Nick is reading this and wondering what all the fuss is about.

17 November 2005

Well, this comment was so bad I can't even publish it, but rest assured it involved Dan making comments about a certain gender and their weight. If I publish any more my arse is grass.

High Beam Lieutenant Dan, and shame on you!



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