Golden Sand-Bag Award
sănd' băg v : To convince someone to climb a route that is either harder / scarier (or both) than you actually let on.
Drum roll please!
The winner of the 2005 Golden Sand-Bagger is:
Mainly for Sand-Bagging both Edna and Feral twice on the October Moonarie trip, but apparently for a myriad other attempts including setting problems in the gym with the intention of making others look silly when they can't repeat them without knowing the secret moves.
nail'clĭ'pper n : One who makes self-indulgent comments revealing just how precious they really are.
Edna and Gimp agree, for her constant whining about wanting to have a shower every single free moment she had while at Moonarie, Rainman (Alex) gets the Nailclipper as well as her new Sand-Baggers name.
Recipients of the A.P. are female and are deemed to have just had a bit of a sulk, and decided they didn't want to climb for no reason other than they have an Aching... ummm, err, well, ...
The Bushfire Lighter is awarded to males and is derived from the claim that if a man is having a tough time "getting it up" that going out and lighting a raging Bushfire is a sure way to get a raging fire going in the trouser department again... hence one who decides not to climb must have a soft cock and therefore has gone out to light a bushfire to bring back their manliness.
Well, she said it herself in nominations for 2005 (as well as mentioning that perhaps after a honeymoon The Feral could qualify too), that Rainman deserved the A.P. for various reasons, and guess what?
She got it! Congratulations Alex, you have the A.P. for 2005!
Spray Award FIGJAM
fĭg'jăm abbr & n. Acronym for Fuck I'm Great! Just Ask me. Descriptive noun used to identify an individual who thinks that they are just the bee's knees, and wants everyone to know it!
Hey guess what everyone I won another Award! Yep, three for The Gimp, because everyone loves me soooo much!
Yay! 3 trophies for me! I am THE BEST!
I don't know why I got the 2005 FIGJAM Award though, I'm pretty humble really.
I think everyone's just jealous that they can't climb as good as me.
High Beam Award
"What? People expect you to turn up at this time of night, for heaven's sake!" Dr Nick
This Award is given to those who demonstrate an almost unnatural ability to act or speak in an astoundingly socially inept manner, demonstrating a complete lack of knowledge of acceptable social behaviour.
For making just a few too many socially inept comments, and for continually kicking Gimp out before midnight on a Thursday, the High Beam Award for 2005 goes to:
In true High Beam style he didn't even know what he'd done to deserve it.
Nice! Dr Nick would be proud.
Nutty Professor Award
How this award was never thought of when Ivor was around I'll never know! Quite obviously awarded for doing or saying something nerdy like: "Well duh! Linux is way better than Windows" or "Well I'd love to join you but I have eczema" or for just being clumsy etc.. Think Jerry Lewis. (And yes, before you try it, I am aware of the irony of someone who regularly updates a website giving such an award, so don't bother mentioning it)
The 2005 winner of the Nutty Professor Award was:
Congratulations Matt you are one heck of a Nerd! Nyahey! Ning! Eh, neh heh eh.
No doubt he will come up with some statistic or flowchart/pie diagram/chaos based theory to prove that someone else deserves the award.
(Com) Poser Award
Aww this is poo!
The (Com) Poser Award was devised by Meg and Quang after they observed Gump and Gimp at the gym setting their own new routes and then getting other people to climb them just to stroke their own egos.
The award was jointly given to both Tom and Adam for their ego-pumping habit of route setting in the gym.
Yeah, alright, fair cop. I guess we deserved that.
But honestly, if they changed the routes at the gym more often... whoops! nearly went all Nailclipper then.